One final roadblock to forgiveness comes as a suggestion from the book, “The 5 Languages of Apology.” http://amzn.to/1wzg23u
Written by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas, the authors suggest that even as each of us have love languages, we also have languages of apology.
If we don’t hear the correct apology, it is difficult to move toward forgiveness and we remain stuck in the past.
When seeking an apology, it is important to ask the offender for a particular type of apology. Then both of us know what the boundaries are.
The Languages of Apology include:
Express Regret: Say “I’m sorry” without any excuses. Behavior needs to mirror these words.
Accept Responsibility: Say “I was wrong” – again with no excuses or personal justification. Genuinely accept responsibility for the failure.
Make Restitution: Show strong efforts to make amends and right the wrong. Make it right.
Genuinely Repent: Modify the behavior with a dedicated plan for change and action steps for that plan. This is not an immediate fix. It takes time to see the results.
Request Forgiveness: Ask specifically for forgiveness about the particular offense and the wrong that has been done.
But what if we never receive an apology?
That’s when we need to release it to God as the Judge and let Him take care of it in His time.
Forgiveness is difficult, and it is a process. But without forgiveness, we cannot move forward – away from the wrong done to us and toward becoming who God created us to be.
Which language of apology do you need to hear?
©2014 Starting Over Single