The following list is a sample of practical things we can do to forgive those who hurt us. Not every method works for everyone. Pick the one(s) you think will help you the most and give them a try.
- Confront each hurtful memory. Journal about your feelings. Ask God to help you forgive that particular memory.
- Express anger in a healthy way. Vent your feelings to a trusted advisor or counselor. Tear up old love letters. Beat a box with a baseball bat. Get the anger out.
- Be specific about the act you need to forgive and the person you need to forgive. Write it in your journal, “I choose to forgive ______________ about _________________.”
- When painful memories surface, visually hand them over to God. Then focus on something positive, an inspiration piece or the person you will become as you heal.
- Focus on making the most of yourself; not spending time and energy blaming someone else.
- Write about a painful memory, then burn the pages and bury the ashes. Have a funeral for your past.
- Don’t respond to people who are pot-stirrers (those who want all the dirty details so they can gossip or show you false sympathy).
- Don’t respond to spiritual abuse (those who bash you with Bible verses and tell you when and how you must forgive).
- Step out of the story where you are stuck. Move into your new story. Write about or draw a picture of your new self. Make a vision board about your new life.
- Put a pretty stone or jewel where you will see it every day. Whenever you see it, as God to help you forgive the person who hurt you.
- Ask a prayer warrior to pray with you about forgiveness (someone who will absolutely keep confidentiality and not enable you to continue in bitterness).
What are some ways you are practicing forgiveness? Which of the suggestions above have helped you the most?
©2014 Starting Over Single