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We want to forgive. We know we should forgive, but sometimes we get stuck behind a roadblock that keeps us from total forgiveness.roadblock

Forgiveness is a process. Wounds are not easily healed and every time we think about them again, we experience a re-wounding.

But if we recognize the roadblock, we can step over that block and move toward true forgiveness.

Roadblock 1: Retaliation

This roadblock appears when we use precious energy to give our offender what we think he deserves. This is not the same as taking legal action against an offender. Retaliation is anything we do mentally, verbally or spiritually to try to punish the offender.

Breaking Through: Will my hatred and bitterness somehow make his life miserable? Probably not. In fact, hatred and bitterness with the desire to retaliate only makes my life miserable and my soul putrid.

Roadblock 2: Grudges

Grudges are strongly-held resentments that fuel negativity. They keep us living within negative emotions and painful memories. Grudges block us from other healthy relationships and keep us from being the incredible women God created us to be.

Breaking through: Will my grudges enable me to live a joyful and peaceful life? The answer is, “No,” because grudges block peace and joy.

Roadblock 3: Retelling the Story

When we retell the story of the pain someone caused us, we may feel a pay-out of sympathy. Retelling the story is another form of retaliation. We make the other person look like the villain – which makes us the victims.

Every time we retell the story, we live within the negative past. We keep adding mud to the slush pile.

Breaking through: Does the retelling keep me focused on the past or moving forward? When someone asks us what happened, instead of retelling the horrible past, we can respond with, “I really don’t want to relive that experience. Just pray for me.”

As we become more aware of our roadblocks to forgiveness, we begin to recognize other ways to respond – more positive ways that lead us toward total forgiveness and help us become whole.

Break through your roadblocks. Watch for the good life on the other side.

©2014 Starting Over Single

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