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What do children need during and after their parents’ divorce? Consider these thoughts.kid with paint splotches

  • They need to know their parents’ divorce is not their responsibility.
  • They need a developmentally and age-appropriate explanation of why the divorce occurred.
  • They need to spend time with both parents, regardless of how their parents feel about it.
  • They need continuous care and guidance from both parents.
  • They need a regular daily and weekly routine, without alternating patterns and disruptions.
  • They need to not have to blame or choose sides.
  • They need to be able to like both parents since they are the product of both parents.
  • They need constant reassurance.
  • They need to love many people (step-parents, relatives, etc) without being made to feel guilty or disloyal.
  • They need to give and receive love.
  • They need to honestly express their feelings whether they feel angry, sad or fearful.
  • They need to not have to make adult decisions.
  • They need to remain children and not become an adult companion, friend or comforter to their parents.
  • They need to never have to choose with whom to live. This is a decision for wise adults.
  • They need to never become the messenger.
  • They need to never have to choose between their parents.

Do you have anything to add?


©2015 Starting Over Single