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time to thinkAs we work toward a more authentic and healthy self, the 3 H’s give us a guideline:

Listen to your HEART.

Those inner nudges will often tell you if you’re heading in the wrong direction or if you feel peace about a certain decision.

What we sometimes call “Red Flags” may be your heart telling you to avoid a particular relationship, to wait before jumping into the unknown or to do more research on a significant topic.

When we listen to our HEARTs, we give ourselves time to think and work on a plan. And this brings up the second H.

Use your HEAD.

Pay attention to the facts and the circumstances. When you’re Starting Over Single, it isn’t wise to jump into buying a new home or a new car until you’ve had a chance to live with your new budget.

Be smart and stay out of a relationship for at least one year. Give yourself time to heal.

Loneliness is not a good reason to find another guy because it is based on desperation. And a man is not a financial plan.

Listen to counselors and to the wise folks in your life. Before making any major decisions, think about all the possible consequences to you and your children.

Do your research. Then be alert for the third H.


The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity. He lives in Christians, and He is the Comforter who will help us through the trauma of divorce.

Because he is God, he is omniscient. He knows the situation you’re facing.

He can point you in the right direction. When he says, “Wait,” he knows there’s a good reason to wait.

When he nudges you forward, it’s because he’s helping you grow and stretch. He knows what’s around the next corner.

So listen to him and obey.

When we follow the 3 H’s, we have a better chance of finding success in this new journey.

And by giving ourselves time to consider these three topics, we can journal through each issue and take the best steps forward.

Here’s to your HEART, your HEAD and the HOLY SPIRIT.

Let us know how this works for you.

©2015 Starting Over Single