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The “V” word – none of us wants to admit ownership in the Victim camp, yet sometimes our actions and thoughts throw us smack in the center of it.victim hole

If we’re still fighting resentment from the divorce, we may be wearing the Victim attitude.

If we’re stuck in Divorce Recovery and not moving forward, we may be living in Victim land.

If we refuse to accept any responsibility for the divorce, we may be president of the Victim club.

The truth is that a marriage is the joining of two people and both are responsible for its success. Both are also responsible for its demise into divorce.

Were you an enabler? Did you live in denial and refuse to “see” what was happening? Did you trust him so fully that it became easy for him to push the boundaries?

Yes, he may have cheated on you, lied and made you feel like a victim. But that’s no reason to live as a victim now.

You DO have a choice to move forward, to go beyond what happened in the marriage and the divorce and make a new life for yourself.

But first, you have to dig out of that victim hole.

One of the best ways to start is to begin looking at all the good things you already possess: your talents, your special giftings, the dreams and desires that only you know about.

Focus on those things and be grateful. Speak it out loud. “I am grateful for …. This is who I am and this is good.”

The next step is to replace any lies with the truth. Again, speaking out loud: “I am not a victim anymore. I am a successful woman who is moving forward in life. I love to …. And I will do more of …. I am determined to live in joy.”

If you need help taking these steps forward, let me know. As a coach who helps SOS women, we can work together to figure out the action steps you need. My email addy is: RebeccaT@GWHope.org.

Meanwhile, take off that Victim sweatshirt and refuse to put it on again. You can have a great life ahead of you with all sorts of possibilities.

Dare to dream and step forward.

©2015 Starting Over Single

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