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When we Start Over Single, we learn new things about ourselves and the world around us. We may discover how “marriage-minded” our churches are and how our society favors couples.

But in order to thrive within our new status, we have to adjust our thinking to reality wounded - healed - changed - adjustand determine to learn from this experience – this change that has happened to us.

So what are some of the expectations we face and how can we realistically adjust to them?

These are some of the markers in my learning curve:

  • Going through divorce will involve change, loss and adjustments. Knowing that truth and facing it helps me realize, “This is going to stretch me, but I can become a better me because of it.”
  • Another person does NOT complete me. I am a unique human being, separate and gifted by God. Life will be good because I will depend on God to keep his promises to me. Those promises are not dependent on another person being with me.
  • Connections are still important, so to adjust in a healthy way – I will need to find a group where I fit in. This does not include singles groups that exist only for those who are looking for their next relationship. I will search for a group where I can be authentic.
  • Growing and adjusting involves life-long learning. I will seek out resources and people who can help me continue learning, growing and stretching.
  • My core values still remain intact. At the heart, I am still the same person. Though wounded, I will heal. Though changed, I will adjust.
  • Although I have learned from the past, I will not remain there. My focus is for today and tomorrow. Hope reaches forward; not backward.
  • Self-care will keep me healthy. This will involve my physical body, my emotional state and my spiritual being. All three bind together to make me who I am. I will take care of me.
  • Above all else, I will guard my heart because “Everything I do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

As we make adjustments in the learning curve, we can expect that we will sometimes need to tweak our expectations and desires. But that’s what gives life joy – constantly learning and adjusting without losing our true selves.

What are some of your expectations for this new life?

©2015 Starting Over Single

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