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One of the resources we use at GateWay of Hope (www.GWHope.org) is “The Life Model” book, published by Shepherd’s House in Pasadena, CA.

The authors are a team of therapists, psychologists and ministers who give practical tools for living from the heart Jesus gave us.

Sunflowers - Jer 29-11As women who are Starting Over Single, our hearts have been broken and sometimes traumatized by life’s events.

We strive to relearn the essentials of Christian living and find our place of joy.

So how do we discover the root of trauma? First, we consider the two basic types of trauma.

Trauma A: the absence of good things we need. We all need to be loved and affirmed. We need security and safety. We need to understand our worth and how to thrive.

Some of us missed these good things as we grew up and some of us are now Starting Over Single because those good things didn’t happen.

Trauma B: bad things that should never happen. These are the events and experiences that create fear and keep us from moving forward. Often, we’re stuck in the past, reliving a horrific event and trying to recover from it.

Type B traumas need time to heal and often involve therapy or some type of supernatural touch from God.

We cannot truly heal and move forward in life with joy if we’re stuck in the regret of missing out on good things or the fear of experiencing bad things.

Many of us have experienced both types of trauma and sometimes we choose toxic relationships because we’re still living within those past events.

The good news is that we CAN recover. We can seek help, journal our way through much of our grief, accept and embrace our emotions, pray, find a good therapist and start over.

In the process, we learn much about ourselves and gain the tools we need to avoid repeating past mistakes or shaming ourselves for what others have done to us.

Find out the source of your pain. Is it within Trauma A or B – or maybe a combination of both? Was your trauma underscored and increased within a failed marriage? Are you still living in the past?

God wants you to know that life does not have to be a series of traumas or suffering the consequences from what happened to you in the past.

God has a good plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11), a “Plan to give you hope and a future.” He will help you heal and show you how to Start Over Single – with joy!

©2015 Starting Over Single