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Repeat to yourself: “I will not isolate, I will not isolate, I will NOT isolate.”

When we’re going through the journey of Starting Over Single, it sometimes feels better to isolate and live in our cocoons of comfort.

For a time, we may want to be alone so that we can more comfortably grieve, but long-term isolation is dangerous.

We need to know we are not alone, so we need to connect with others. Finding some type of support group is essential for moving forward.Groups image

Maybe a support group exists in your community or in your church. If not, ask the leadership of your church for the name of an older woman who might be interested in mentoring a group.

Check out the various coaching and counseling organizations in your area. Some of them may have a support group for women who are Starting Over Single.

Check out churches that offer Divorce Care™. This is the first line of defense, but don’t get stuck there. Some women go through the Divorce Care program over and over. They never move on.

So find a place where you can move forward. You might suggest the booklet “19 Tips for Starting Over Single” as a beginning text.

Women are particularly wise in finding ways to help each other. We know how to relate and how to nurture. We understand the value of connections.

This is the time for you to draw even closer to your friends, but beware. Some of your married friends will disconnect from you. That’s okay. This is not your fault. They don’t understand.

Strength does lie in numbers, and we need to be in community with each other.

Practical Tips:

  • List the names of the women you feel you can trust. Call them and ask to do coffee or lunch together. Take the first step toward connecting.
  • Make it your goal to connect with at least one woman during the next two weeks. For accountability, you can contact me and let me know you have reached this goal: RebeccaT@GWHope.org.
  • Be honest about what you need your friends / connections to do for you:
    • Help you figure out a budget
    • Give you genuine and generous hugs
    • Keep you accountable so you will exercise
    • Help you network for a better job
    • Pray for you daily
    • Go shopping with you
    • Try out a new recipe together
  • Pray that God will help you find the perfect group to join.

As we make connections, we build relationships that will serve us well in the months to come. And we also give to others in the group out of our own experiences and growth.

So grab your purse and drive to the nearest support group.

©2016 Starting Over Single

 

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