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Was it difficult for you – the first time you filled out a form and could no longer check the box beside the word – “Married?”
Sometimes, checking the “Divorced” box brings with it a bit of shame – the reality that we didn’t make it for a lifetime – we were somehow “not enough.”
The “Divorced” word feels broken, as if something is terribly wrong with us.
Even though many women need to step into that divorced world to free themselves from toxic relationships.
Even though we believe in the freedom of women to choose whether or not they want to stay married.
Even though the statistics says 50% of us will go through divorce.
Still … it’s the word that feels shameful. The Scarlet “D.”
So I’ve decided to think of a different word to describe my life. Even though forms won’t have this word listed on the marital status check boxes, it’s the word I’ll use when someone asks me, “Are you married?”
I thought about this word as I considered a post by Lisa Fritscher on www.lifescript.com
The Advantages of Being Single / Divorced:
- Decide what to do with your time. Your schedule is not determined by another person’s timeline, calendar or planner.
- Make your own decisions about your money. Especially for women who have lived with a financial abuser, this is a big plus.
- Rediscover yourself. One of the biggest problems divorced women face is the question, “Who am I now?” Finding your new identity can be a wonderful adventure.
- Recognize your true friends. Couple friends will probably disappear, but new single friends will enter the picture. Most women who go through divorce find great comfort in the friendships of women.
- Make more time for family relationships and redefining what it means to be an adult with your siblings and parents. You can also devote more time to your children and their needs.
- Dedicate yourself to your career. Start your own business. Develop that invention you’ve been thinking about. Become a writer. Rediscover your dreams.
- Take advantage of travel. Go where you want to go. Some cruises have special discounts for singles. See the world and/or visit local places you’ve missed because your toxic partner wouldn’t “allow” you to do anything that wasn’t his type of fun.
- Enjoy the freedom of meals. If you’re not hungry, you don’t have to cook for anybody else. If you’re hungry for something specific, you can eat what you want – when you want.
- Become your authentic self. Take a course on self-discovery. Hire a life coach.
As I looked at this list and discovered the one topic that covered everything, I found my word.
The next time I need to answer a question about my marital status, instead of saying, “I’m divorced” – I’ll answer, “I’m free!”
©2016 Starting Over Single