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letter-kLet’s check out some “K” words and phrases to discover how we can Start Over Single. Although the letter “K” presents some challenges for finding appropriate words, we can also use some phrases that encourage us.

Knowledge

As we Start Over Single, we gain so much knowledge that will help us learn how to live well – alone. Now we know we can survive and thrive, relying on God and the gifts he has given us.

We have been forced to learn more about finances and budgeting, about the mechanics of cars and the maintenance of a house. All that is good.

We have a better working knowledge about taxes and the importance of keeping good records. Going through the divorce taught us how to deal with lawyers, school officials, government systems, the courts and many other authority figures.

We now know about custody issues and maybe even guardian ad litems. We have learned how to manage the holidays and how to assure that our children enjoy time with the ex-laws and the cousins.

We have learned how the church treats divorced people and which churches are safe places. We know how to set healthy boundaries for ourselves and our children.

We know about leases and loans, tools and techniques for fixing things and even plumbing issues.

We are so much smarter and stronger – sometimes we don’t recognize ourselves.

All these are good things, but we may also have more knowledge about what constitutes a destructive marriage. We can then teach our younger siblings and our children which red flags to watch out for and how to protect themselves against manipulation and gaslighting behaviors.

With knowledge comes the opportunity to use it well, to stay away from bitterness and to share what we have learned.

This brings us to the next “K” phrase:

Knowing Yourself

Many of us hire counselors and/or coaches to help us navigate through the divorce process. Enlisting the help of an objective person can help us grow stronger and recognize any self-defeating behaviors.

If you’re interested in talking to a counselor or a coach, check out GateWay of Hope.

Knowing ourselves means we need to be careful of certain personality types, because we know our own personalities – our strengths and weaknesses.

As we discover our core values, we know more about who we are and what direction we want to go in life. We also know any new relationships need to be in sync with our core values.

This knowing of ourselves will prevent us from making life-altering mistakes.

To know ourselves means we appreciate who we are and who God created us to be. We’re on a journey, learning more and more about what we like and what we want our futures to be.

As we learn more, we make decisions to eliminate anything that doesn’t bring us joy. That includes the physical and emotional clutter of a former life.

We surround ourselves only with the things we like, the possessions and environment that bring out the best in us.

So we become even more determined to live the abundant life. And that brings a contentment wrapped in peace.

Keep Moving Forward

Most of us can say, “I’ll never do that again,” or “I’m not falling for that again.”

If we think of our goal to Keep Moving Forward, then we aren’t looking back. We’re done with any resentments of the past and certainly – with any fault-finding or self-deprecatory statements.

Moving forward means we believe tomorrow will be a better day.

We’ve learned so much, we’re putting that knowledge into practice and letting it morph into wisdom.

Maybe our movement forward will including buying a house or the exact car we want.

Maybe it will mean we’re going to declutter, simplify and live with only the essentials.

Maybe we’re going to lose those extra pounds we gained during the divorce or put some pounds back on because we forgot to eat during all the stress.

Maybe our movement forward includes going back to school or earning a certification in coaching.

That’s what I did, and I’m so grateful for that CLC behind my name. My Life Coaching Certification enables me to help other women who are Starting Over Single. If you’d like to talk about Coaching, email me at rebeccat@gwhope.org.

To keep moving forward, we set smart goals that are measurable and attainable – goals that are time-sensitive and utilize our giftings.

We also include special people in our march forward – those who will add joy to our lives yet help us stay accountable to our new focus.

As we keep moving forward, we’ll learn even more about ourselves and what is best for us.

So what are some things you have learned during this Starting Over Single process?

©2016 Starting Over Single

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