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As we continue our alphabet series, the letter “V” presents some powerful words for Starting Over Single.letter-v


We’ve mentioned the importance of knowing our core values. Without a definite focus on values, we can easily move off course and even find ourselves enmeshed in new toxic relationships.

One of my coaching clients emailed me about her experience. During our SOS group, she had listed her core values and one of those values was that she would never date or marry another man who struggled with addictions.

She started dating a man who seemed to be nice. When she asked him about any addictive behaviors, he denied any sort of problem. So – smart woman – she ordered a background check on him and found several arrests for DUI. When she presented him with the evidence, he seemed surprised that she considered alcoholism as an addiction. Wisely, she ended the relationship.

Other women may include Faith as a core value, so they are not going to be involved with anyone who does not share the same faith value.

Even your workplace can be affected by a strong core value system. Are honesty, truth and integrity part of your core values? If so, then you can’t be involved in fraudulent work practices.

Whether your core values include security, life-long learning, faith, health and exercise or any number of other ideas – stick to those values when you’re making decisions.

Our core values help to define us but they also help us set healthy boundaries. Know your core values and hang on to them when faced with life-altering decisions.


Many of us had a different vision for life. Divorce interrupted that vision or completely changed it. But it’s not too late.

You may have to tweak the vision you once had or you may want to consider a new type of vision.

One of my friends is now the executive director of a single moms organization. Her vision began as a happy family living out the American dream, but divorce changed that. Her new vision is to help single moms in the Kansas City metro, to provide them with empowering and validating activities. She’s doing a great job and impacting many lives.

What visions do you have for yourself in this new season?

  • Have you seen the vision of the book you want to publish?
  • Do you have a vision of yourself with a new hairdo or a different style?
  • Is owning your own house part of your vision?
  • What about a special vacation? Can you envision yourself resting beside the beach or hiking in the mountains?
  • What do you think is God’s vision for you and how can you align yourself with him?

Don’t give up on your vision just because your marital status has changed. You still have a good life to live and your vision can still become a reality.


Think of yourself with a new tagline and repeat it often, “I am a woman of valor.”

To be a woman of valor means you have integrity and purpose. You are strong and courageous. You know what you want out of life and you are willing to boldly march toward that goal.

You are making a significant difference in others’ lives including your children, other women who are Starting Over Single, your co-workers and the people who sit with you at church.

Perhaps even your ex-laws have observed how graciously you have acted toward them. Maybe you and your “wasband” have emotionally reconciled so you can easily work through issues with the children.

It is possible to Start Over Single and become a better and stronger version of yourself. In fact, that is the goal of the SOS program.

This is the time to fill your mind with stories about other strong women. Check out books and movies that emulate other women of integrity, women who have the gumption to stand up for their core values and their true identities.  The movie, “Hidden Figures” is one example.

As you gain strength and begin thinking of yourself as a woman of valor, other women will notice and call you their “she-ro.” And you’ll make an impact on other women who are Starting Over Single.

What are some of your core values?

©2016 Starting Over Single