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We’re closing out our series with the last three letters of the alphabet: X, Y and Z.letters-xyz


In the ancient Greek world, xenia was an important cultural value. It represented the hospitality shown to those who were far from home.

People who exercised the gift of xenia were generous, courteous and kind. They welcomed guests into their homes and sometimes – developed life-long friendships.

When we’re Starting Over Single, we desperately need a dose of kindness from family, friends, churches and our networking community. Some of us DO experience generous spirits who show us kindness.

Others feel condemnation, lose friendships and struggle to feel welcome in places that were once friendly.

Most of us experience both scenarios.

But as SOS women, we now know the vital importance of being empathic and exercising xenia. We can show courtesy and hospitality to other women who are Starting Over Single.

We can be the friendly ones at church who sit with single moms and help them feel welcome. We can be kind and compassionate to anyone who is struggling.

As women who exercise xenia, we now become the champions for a host of other women who just need to see a friendly smile, hear a word of kindness. We become hospitable by opening our hearts to others.

Let’s be those champions who develop xenia.


Many of us have lived a lifetime focused on someone else. Whether it was the “wasband,” the children, co-workers, co-dependent friends or even God himself – we forgot about ourselves while helping someone else.

What an admirable quality!

But if we have ignored ourselves in the process, then we are not truly following God’s command to “Love others as we love ourselves.”

We are losing ourselves in order to protect others, and that is not healthy. God has gifted us for a reason and as his daughters – we have value.

We must learn to take care of ourselves and to focus on who we are so we can be an asset to our family, our workplace and even to our society.

Self-care is vital as we continue the SOS journey and as we become an example to hundreds of younger women who follow us.

It is okay to take care of YOU. It is important to celebrate who YOU are.

It is vital to spend time in reflection, living by your core values and gaining the necessary strength to step into your role.

Begin to love YOU. Allow yourself grace. Buy YOU something special or invest in an experience just for YOU.

By taking care of YOU, life will feel more joyful and then you can share the joy more freely with others. You will add to the lives of others because you have invested in the self-care of YOU.


We often think of a zenith in terms of astronomy – when a star or a plant reaches its highest point in the universe.

But let’s also consider how women Starting Over Single reach their zenith. This is the point where we are most successful – where we discover the best of ourselves and know we have grown and conquered.

When my coaching clients reach a zenith, they experience the euphoria of accomplishment. They realize all the hard work of emotional and mental struggle has been worth it.

All the ways they have stretched themselves has paid off. They have reached their goals.

For us, the zenith of our SOS experience might be when we pay off all the divorce debt. Or it might be the moment we walk into our new home, knowing we now own it and we don’t have to pay rent anymore.

Our zenith might be the day we walk into a car dealership and by a new vehicle – all by ourselves. We might experience a zenith as we fix the plumbing, steam clean the carpet or figure out how to check the car’s oil.

For some of us, the zenith occurs when our children come to us at night, snuggle up and say, “I love you, Mom. I know this whole mess wasn’t your fault.”

A spiritual zenith may occur when we walk into a church and are welcomed with open arms – then we become members in good standing where we are asked to serve and use our gifts.

For writers like me, the zenith comes when I hold one of my books in my hands and know the words contained within came from my soul – God-breathed and sent out to inspire others.

I wonder – what is your zenith? What are you working for and hoping for? What are some of the zenith points you have already reached?

Share with us in the comments so we can rejoice with you.

And keep reaching, keep striving, keep believing in who you are. Your next zenith is just a whisper away.

©2016 Starting Over Single