counseling, divorced women, finding your identity, GateWay of Hope, God, hope, leading Bible studies, life coaching, Mandisa, optimism, originality, overcomer, RJ Thesman, single women, starting over single, support groups
Let’s think about some powerful “O” words for Starting Over Single.
Now that we’re post-divorce, this is the time for an optimistic outlook. We’ve made it through all the grunge work and we’ve completed a mound of paperwork.
We’ve reworked the budget, so we know exactly how much we need to live on. Even if we’ve had to make some financial sacrifices, we are moving toward paying off debts, rebuilding our savings accounts and possibly buying a new house.
We’ve also worked through some of the difficult emotions of the divorce, vented our guts out with the counselor and set healthy boundaries around our hearts.
We have set goals for this new season of life and we are marching forward with a determined mindset – we will be happier now. We will begin to thrive and not just survive.
Although we know life will still have its bumpy days, we’ve come through hell on earth. God has helped us through it and we’re still breathing. It will be okay.
We’ve learned to define our new normal for life, and we know we can conquer the challenges we never even imagined before the divorce.
And…since we’ve learned so much about ourselves and how to deal with life, we’re beginning to plan for how we can help other women who are struggling.
- Offer to lead a Bible study at church
- Begin a support group at home
- Work toward a certification in Coaching or Counseling
- Develop a blog and gain followers who need some practical info about being single
- Start a book club with the single women at work
- Schedule a coffee date with that young mom who’s having a tough time
- Sit with the other divorced women at church so nobody feels alone
This is the time to think creatively and use your new-found optimism for the good of others. As you have been helped by other women, you can now pass it on.
This is the time to use our originality to be as creative as possible. One of the fun things I did was to redesign my bedroom.
I knew the “marital” bed had to go so I gave him that old mattress and switched the guest room mattress to my bed. After I sold the divorce house, my son and I moved to a beautiful townhome where we could emotionally heal. I bought all new bedding and for the first time in a long time – I slept deeply through the night.
Although I was working another job, I decided to create my own business and use my communications skills. So Do It Write was born, an editorial service that has since become a coaching and speaking outlet at writers conferences.
Then I started my blog and later, this blog. Both of these original ideas morphed into ways to help other women Starting Over Single and to offer Hope When Life Unravels. Both of them include books I’ve written and more ideas for future books.
Another piece of my originality was to learn more about decorating. I’ve enjoyed starting over with my own idea of colors, textures and placement. I watch some of the design shows and I try to make my living space as comfortable as possible.
Now that your identity has changed, you can do anything creative you want to do. Although some people don’t see themselves as creative, we all DO have a piece of creativity within us.
Since God created us in his image and he IS the creator – it follows that we are also creative. He gave us wheat, and we made bread. He gave us plants and we made salad bars. He gave us color and we can learn to paint, decorate, crochet or do any number of things that include color.
So … don’t wait any longer. Use that originality and create something beautiful just for you. Then share it with someone else.
Pat yourself on the back for being an overcomer. You’ve been through a lot of stuff and you’ve survived. You have overcome the pain of being betrayed and/or abuses of all kinds. You’ve moved past the shock of it all and learned how to grieve in healthy ways.
You have become an overcomer.
This fabulous song by Mandisa reminds us how God holds us up and helps us become overcomers.
Whenever this song comes on the radio, I crank it up and sing it fortissimo. I don’t care what people in the other cars at the stoplight think, I’m letting go with the truth.
Another encouragement for me has been Psalm 54:4 where God promises to uphold us. He sustains us and keeps us going strong – even when we aren’t aware that he’s right beside us.
I love the idea of his sustaining power, because I am a pianist. The sustain pedal on the far right keeps the sound going on and on. So even when I’m having a tough day and my life feels discordant, God sustains me. The music of my soul continues, no matter what is happening.
So as we Start Over Single and move forward in this next season of life, we can take joy in being the overcomers God has called us to be.
What about you? What are some ways you are developing more originality in your life? How are you becoming an overcomer?
©2016 Starting Over Single